Happy Tuesday, today I want to share something very personal with you. Something that I've been struggling with for a long time, and that I know many of you can relate to. I briefly mentioned struggling with imposter syndrome in a previous post and feel it's something that deserves a post of it's own.
If I'm honest, I'm actually experiencing feelings of imposter syndrome about posting this blog post. I don't feel I have the same confidence this time around, as I've had with my previous posts. But here goes...
Imposter syndrome is a form of 'intellectual self-doubt', when you don't believe your achievements are real. It's when you feel like you're not good enough, smart enough, or qualified enough for your job. It's when you feel like you've somehow fooled everyone into thinking you're competent, but you're actually a fraud who could be exposed at any moment. It's mostly irrational and unfounded but it is very real and I'm sure I'm not alone in this one.
It isn't something that I feel consistently, it fluctuates and can spring up unexpectedly (and unwelcome). Even though I have 2 degrees, a professional certification and countless other qualifications alongside years of experience in the field, I still get feelings that I don't belong. I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing, and that one day someone will find out and expose me as a fake.
I remember the first time I felt like this. It was when I got accepted into a prestigious grammar school. I was so excited and proud, but also terrified. I thought they had made a mistake, that they had confused me with someone else. I made myself think that I must have cheated on my 11+ (transfer test). I thought they would soon realise their error and kick me out.
I felt the same way when I graduated with honors, when I landed my first job at a renowned US firm, when I was privileged to manage my first job and sometimes when someone asked for my opinion. Instead of feeling happy or proud, I felt anxious and guilty. I felt like I didn't deserve it, like it was all luck or chance or someone else's mistake.
I also felt like I had to work harder than everyone else to prove myself and to keep up the illusion of my success. I would spend hours and hours on every project, trying to make it perfect. Reading books, squeezing in CPDs I would never ask for help or admit when I didn't know something. I would avoid socializing or networking with other architects, fearing they would see through me. And I would never celebrate or share my accomplishments with anyone, thinking they would pity me or laugh at me.
This constant pressure and self-doubt took a toll on my mental and physical health. I started to feel stressed and exhausted. I lost interest and joy in my work.
But then something changed. One day, my brother mentioned a conference he had attended and had spoke about his experience of imposter syndrome. I was intrigued about what he had said and so I went researching. As I read about it, I realised that what I was feeling had a name. And that it was not uncommon or abnormal. And that there were ways to overcome it.
I learned that imposter syndrome affects many people in different professions and fields, including some famous and successful people like Michelle Obama. Philip Watson is a director and head of design at HLM Architects, he recently spoke out about his experience of feeling like this. And that it's not a sign of weakness or incompetence, but rather a reflection of high standards and aspirations.
Through my research I learned some tips and strategies to cope with imposter syndrome and to start feeling more confident and authentic. I have summarised these below:
Recognize and acknowledge your feelings.
The first step is to become aware of when and why you feel like an imposter. You can do this by keeping a journal, talking to a friend, or colleague. By naming your feelings and identifying the triggers, you can start to challenge them and replace them with more realistic and positive thoughts.
Celebrate your achievements.
Instead of dismissing or downplaying your successes, try to appreciate and acknowledge them. Keep a record of your accomplishments, big and small, and review them regularly. You can also share them with others who support and value you. Remember that you earned your success through your hard work and skills, not luck or deception.
Embrace your imperfections.
Nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Instead of seeing them as signs of failure or fraudulence, see them as opportunities for learning and growth. Don't be afraid to admit when you don't know something or when you need help. Be kind and compassionate to yourself when things go wrong. And don't compare yourself to others who may seem more confident or competent than you - they may be struggling with imposter syndrome too.
Seek feedback and support.
Imposter syndrome can make you feel isolated and alone, but you're not the only one who feels this way. Many people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. You can find comfort and inspiration in their stories and learn from their coping strategies. You can also seek feedback and support from people who know you well and respect you, such as mentors, colleagues, friends, or family. They can help you recognise your strengths, challenge your negative thoughts, and celebrate your achievements.
Since learning about imposter syndrome and applying these tips, I've noticed a positive change in my attitude and behavior. I still have moments of doubt and insecurity, but they don't paralyze me or stop me from pursuing my goals and dreams. I feel more confident and authentic in my work. And I enjoy it more.
Imposter syndrome is a common and normal phenomenon that affects many people in different ways. But it doesn't have to define you or limit you. By following these tips, you can start to overcome imposter syndrome and feel more confident and authentic in your professional life.
I hope this blog post was helpful for you. Sharing my personal experiences makes me feel quite vulnerable and exposed but having had numerous conversations with other architects I think it's important that we talk openly, even if it helps only one person. Please let me know what you think in the comments section below or share your own experiences of imposter syndrome if you feel you can. Feel free to share privately with me on Instagram if you're more comfortable with that!
And remember...
you're not an imposter!
You have earned your place.
You belong here!
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